It’s Over….A Broken Relationship

Relational interactions, playground crush, personal friendships, high school romance, intimate encounters, work place camaraderie; terms used to describe different moments in time that have had an impact on the lives of the one’s involved.

Throughout our lifetime, we as human beings are involved in hundred’s or maybe even thousand’s of interactions with others that impact, for good or bad, our future. As one who has experienced difficult encounters during my life, I can confirm that the foundation on which your life is built will determine your response to and reaction towards anyone who tries to step on or over you.

From early childhood, where we learn the basics of making and breaking relationships, until we take our last breath, we are always in the midst of some type of relationship. We start with our familial relationships to parents, siblings, grand parents, etc. These early bonds are formed almost instantly at birth. Regardless of how cute or ugly you were when you were born, your parents still loved you. I didn’t matter if you were born with a full head of hair or you were bald, your grandparents still cooed over you as if you were a prince or a princess. Your older siblings probably couldn’t care less whether your name was Sally, Sierra, Wilbur, Vladimir or John, they were going to love you, hate you, fight with you and fight for you because you were their brother or sister.

From the genesis of these familial relations, we venture on to other types of relationships. These new encounters are based on our location, age, gender or some other conditional set of circumstances. Unlike the relationship forged through familial relations, these new relationships will be filled with conditions, limits, and consequences.

So, with the countless number of relationships we experience throughout our lifetime, why is it that certain of these relationships last the test of time, while others seem to only last until a difference of opinion arises? Are real, lasting, strong relationships built solely on a foundation of shared beliefs or is it something else, something less tangible? I look at various friendships that I have had over the years with both men and women, platonic relations that we formed because of some common bond, that have endured time and distance. While some have withstood many ups and downs, still others have not.

Why is it that some friendships and/or relationships end? I am sure that you have experienced this same question more than once; “what did I do?” You know, that rhetorical question that we ask ourselves that we know we will probably never be able to answer. However, there are those rare occasions when we immediately know the answer to our question. But, more times than not, we cannot answer the question and the other person is in no mood to indulge us. So, we are left to question ourselves, our actions, our opinions, or even our beliefs in a vain attempt to put closure to the relationship.

But, there is one relationship that we can have that will never leave us with unanswered questions and unfulfilled hopes. The relationship I am speaking about is our relationship with Christ. When we enter into a relationship with Christ, we are promised that he will always be with us.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Joshua 1:5 “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Have you ever been abandoned mentally or physically by one of your relationship? With Christ, you never need to worry about feeling as though you have been left to blow in the wind. But, as much as God loves each and every one of us, he will never force that love on us. We have the ability, the right to deny His overtures toward us. It has been said, “Love demands freedom. It always has and always will. We are free to resist, reject, and rebel against God’s ways for us.” Christ is that loving.

Regardless of what you may think about Rob Bell or his book, “Love Wins”, I find the following statement to be ‘dead on’ in regard to how much God loves us.

“If we want isolation, despair, and the right to be our own god, God graciously grants us that option. If we insist on using our God-given power and strength to make the world in our own image, God allows us that freedom; we have the kind of license to that. If we want nothing to do with light, hope, love, grace, and peace, God respects that desire on our part, and we are given a life free from any of those realities. The more we want nothing to do with all God is, the more distance and space are created. If we want nothing to do with love, we are given a reality free from love.

If, however, we crave light, we are drawn to truth, we’re desperate for grace, we’ve come to the end of our plots and schemes and we want someone else’s path, God gives us what we want. If we have the sense that we have wandered far from home, and we want to return, God is there, standing in the driveway, arms open, ready to invite us in.

If we thirst for shalom, and we long for the peace that transcends all understanding, God doesn’t just give, they’re poured out on us, lavished, heaped, until we are overwhelmed. It’s like a feast where the food and wine do not run out. These desires can start with the planting of an infinitesimally small seed deep in our heart, or a yearning for life to be better, or a gnawing sense that we’re missing out, or an awareness that beyond the routine and grind of life there’s something more, or the quiet hunch that this isn’t all there is. It often has it’s birth in the most unexpected ways, arising out of our need for something we know we do not have, for someone we know we are not.

And, to that, the impulse, craving, yearning, longing, desire – God says yes. Yes, there is water for that thirst, food for that hunger, light for that darkness, relief for that burden. If we want hell, if we want heaven, they are ours. That’s how love works. It can’t be forced, manipulated, or coerced. It always leaves room for the other to decide. God says yes, we can have what we want, because love wins.”

If God will not force himself on you, and you are free to choose or reject his love, then it really is up to you whether you have a fulfilled or dysfunctional relationship with Him.

What if we actually had a relationship of this kind here on earth… Does it have to wait until we die and meet Him in Heaven? Not at all. Not only do we have the last word on what type of relationship we will have with God, but we also have the ability live out that relationship every day of our mortal existence, if we choose to.

Broken relationships are a horrible thing to deal with. Broken loves, friendships, hurt feelings, emotional baggage, or even physical scars; all side effects of shattered earthly relationship’s. As I look back at the various broken relationships of close friends and myself, I see how each one was in someway sabotaged by one of the effected parties. One person hurt the other, then the injured party retaliates, and on and on it goes until someone decides they have had enough of the pain and anger, and they put an end to the relationship.

We are all guilty of knowing just the right thing to say to get under the skin, or to hurt someones feelings, and saying it. We all have at one time or another withheld our love or emotions from another because we were hurt. There is only one relationship that I know of where the other person will never withhold love; will never say something to get under our skin or make us hurt. While there may be things said that we don’t agree with or even understand, they are said so that we can grow stronger as a person and as a child of God. He promised to be a friend that is ‘closer than a brother’, to be a father to the fatherless and a friend to the down-trodden.

God loves you so much that he promised to be with us always, promised to never leave us and promised that He would always be there for us. He loves so much that He died for you and I. That is the ultimate show of love.

Relationship come and go. They start and end. Some good, some not so good. Never have I had a relationship like I have with God. Unconditional love; even if I talk bad about, yell and scream at, or ignore, the way He loves me never wavers.



About Markus
Self confessed MisFit trying to get through life. Christ Follower,Father,Papaw,Musician. A realist who is enjoying becoming lost in the right direction

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